What I Want To Say Is...

I don't want to blame on you because I made the decision. Therefore, I did not tell you how I felt and what I thought. 

I thought the matters has passed away.

But it seems you don't agree with me.

Everytime when I get into trouble, you keep saying it again and again. You think it is all my fault.

But it is not the fact. At least I don't think so.

I want to tell you but I just can't because I am not sure what will happen. 

I want to have a good time with you rather than arguing. However, it is enough for me to carry this burden. I will let you know what I think about these matters before leaving. I hope you will understand my situation. As to how will you think and what will you say, I don't bother to think any more.